couple in bed with woman raising her hands, symbolizing the challenge of being married to an internet addict

Are You Married To An Internet Addict?

Are you married to an Internet addict?  In the 80’s there was a movie “Married to the Mob” with Michelle Pfeiffer and Matthew Modine.  In the comedy, Pfeiffer was married to the mob and she was family  “whether she liked it or not!”   Even though she was widowed from her mafia husband she was still “stuck” with the mob.   Not a good feeling to be attached to a lifestyle that is not working. 

3 Things You Want To Ask Your Partner If You Are Married To An Internet Addict

Question To Ask If You Are Married To An Internet Addict – #1   The Net is here to stay so what can really change?

You can’t change the net only yourself.  If you or your loved one has a stronger relationship with the internet than to you something is wrong.   Distance in your relationship can lead to your significant other becoming more connected with the net or something else that grabs his or her attention.   I’ve seen it so often with couples in couples coaching that as their relationship deteriorates the connection to an outside source becomes stronger.  The good news is that this scenario can change if both people are willing to change behavior that leads to turning to the Net to begin with.   

Ask yourself, “Is that a step worth taking?”

Question To Ask If You Are Married To An Internet Addict – #2   The Net will eat up less time if….

Is the Net more gratifying than your relationship?  Human nature is that we love doing what makes up happy.  If your relationship is not making you happy you will turn more often to an outside source to find fulfillment.  

It’s crazy to think, but true, that the Net actually makes some people more happy than their relationship.

Question To Ask If You Are Married To An Internet Addict – #3   It’s not too late to save your relationship from the Net!

A person’s relationship to the Net can change but only with a major shift in lifestyle.  Are you or your loved one willing to turn attention away from the Net and towards the relationship?   My guess is that your loved one’s eyes are way nicer to look at then a computer screen.    Creating space in your relationship to share the real “stuff” will make a big difference.  The Net is often just an escape from dealing with the “real” problems in the relationship.  As the expression goes…you can run but you can’t hide.   Staying in the present makes a big difference and is the first step in removing the knots created by the Net. 

So, what’s your choice?   Life with a little less Net or a lot more “knots”….

Are you married to an internet addict and have more questions? Just post them as a comment below. I am happy to guide you!

About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at

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