couple is frustrated, presenting negative thoughts in a relationship

Negative Thoughts In A Relationship – Are You Poisoning Your Relationship?


Experiencing negative thoughts in a relationship can be quite draining. If you have been in your relationship or marriage for a while you have probably developed a long list of beliefs about your loved one.   Some of these thoughts can keep you close while others can push you further away.    When was the last time you examined your beliefs and how they benefit or create pain in your relationship?   Here a few great ways take the first step to freeing yourself from negative thoughts in your relationship so you can begin having the kind of relationship you deserve and desire!

3 Ways to Release Negative Thoughts in a Relationship

#1:  Look at the assumptions that influence your negative thoughts

As you know, your assumptions will create your “reality.”  Negative thoughts in your relationship will result in negative behavior. So, if you think that nothing will change in your relationship you are probably right!

  • The best love advice in the world will not create change unless you believe change is possible.
  • Heading in a new direction requires that you are willing to do differently.
  • Assumptions will change when “both” you and your loved one are ready to “drum to a different beat.”
  • Same old song, same old result.

#2:  Find ways to BE the change, no negative thoughts in a relationship anymore!

Okay, we have all heard this expression but how many times have you simply waited around for things to be different?   Humm…and what happens?  Usually, zilch!

  • There is nothing magical about change.  It takes action.
  • Simply put, are you willing to change yourself so you can change your relationship?   Think about it this way….if you both offer something new, a new path will be created. In the end, it truly takes two!

#3:  Look for opportunities to change the language

Remember when you were first dating?  How did you talk to one another?  Yes, you practiced “sweet” and “sensitive” talk on a regular basis.  Do you think this still works after years?   What you hear and feel will set the tone for what happens next in your relationship.

  • You can really feel the difference when you hear the softness and compassion in a person’s voice.
  • Talking differently will change the way you see your loved one.
  • At the end of the day, assumptions only change when new behavior is born.
  • It’s not easy but nothing worthwhile is created without some sweat and tears.
  • Ask yourself, “How much is your relationship worth to you?”

Are you still experiencing negative thoughts in a relationship? Are you finding solutions that are working in your relationship?  Check out Dr. Jeff’s free monthly relationship advice webinars every month.  Find out more at RelationshipsUnscripted.com.

If you find your friends sharing their negative thoughts in a relationship, please share this article with them so they can be helped too!

 

About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at RelationshipsUnscripted.com.

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