woman and men in bed, hair blowing, symbolizing the topic no sex in relationship

No Sex In Relationship – The Power of Saying “YES” to SEX!


No sex in relationship? Yes, we are all busy in these days and it seems like there is little time for fun.    What’s better than having sex with someone you love?   Maybe chocolate?  We’ll save that comparison for another conversation.

After being in a relationship for a while sex can become so repetitive and the “spark” that keeps things hot and fun can fall away over time.   No sex talk anymore. So, how do you keep the “yes” in SEX?

3 Critical Questions To Ask Yourself If You Have No Sex In Your Relationship But You Want One

#1:  No Sex In Relationship – Who is the one initiating this fun sex experience?

In most relationships there is an identified “sexual captain” who steers the sex ship.   I’m sure you know “who” and “what” I am talking about.   The sexual captain is the one who is the initiator and often the director of sex in a relationship.

  • What happens when the captain (male or female) gets turned down or is tired of asking?
  • The result is usually…NOTHING!  That’s right, no sex.

#2:  No Sex In Relationship – Who is the most comfortable taking the sex plunge?

The person who initiates is usually the person who feels the most comfortable asking for “it.”  Not necessarily the person who wants it more.  Sometimes both people “want it” but don’t necessarily ask for “it.”  Sounds crazy but it is true. That’s the reason I find this sex advice AHA moment so crucial. We assume a lot but we really don’t know.

#3:  No Sex In Relationship – Are you mixing it up?

After years of intimacy, saying yes will happen more often if you are both willing to mix it up a little and take turns being the pursuer.   It’s fun to be wanted and it can also be fun to engage in the chase.  Your gender does not have to be the defining reason why you are the captain or just “coming along for the ride.”

  • It’s important to remember to be playful and once in a while “get out of your head.”
  • Often, the only thing in the way of SEX happening more often is the mind set of what needs to happen and who needs to get it started.
  • Act how you feel and take a walk on the wild side once in a while.
  • Fun is around the corner if you are willing to change it up a little.

So, what are you waiting for???? If you still have no sex in your relationship you know what to do now!

Still feeling stuck and looking for sex & relationship advice?  Check out Dr. Jeff’s free monthly relationship advice webinars – a great way to jump start your relationship!

Questions about our topic “no sex in relationship“? Just leave your comment below!

About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at RelationshipsUnscripted.com.

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