3 Ways to Cure Nagging in Your Relationship

Have you been called a nagger?  If you are constantly complaining, annoying or tormenting your partner you may be a fit into this category.  The reality is that you are not completely at fault!   Believe it or not, your relationship is partly (or fully) to blame for your tiring behavior.   The most frustrating part is that “nagging” usually is a waste of time.  It simply makes things worse.  It’s painful to spend countless hours complaining about what’s bothering you and nothing changes.   It really stinks!  So, what can you do?   Here are a few ways to “target” the person who may be calling you a “nagger.”

Solution #1: Explore your VIEWS

Does it really help to place blame in a relationship?  If the goal is to find a solution it usually is a fruitless venture.   The better alternative is to explore the “lens” that each of you use to see your world.  Ask your partner to describe the “picture” they are seeing.   Until you both understand one other’s view your relationship will remain the same.  Ignoring what you don’t understand will lead to more nagging and arguments.  Stop trying to be “right.”  Pretend your loved one is a “creature” from another planet and begin to ask questions to understand his/her perspective.   Be curious and be open!

Solution #2: Respect DIFFERENCES

Can you appreciate a view that is different than your own?  Or, do you believe that you are barer of “THE truth?”  The stance you take will influence your ability to create change in your relationship.  Being able to respect differences can be a challenge.   Trying to force change is often what created the nagging to begin with.  It’s up to your loved one to decide if he or she will change.  It’s not up to you to change your partner!  Accepting this reality is quite important if you want your relationship to change.    Being “heard” and respected will allow a bridge to be created between the two of you.


Do you feel stuck because you believe that your solution is the “right” one?  Well, where does that take you in the long run?  How many times have you felt like you had the “answer” but your relationship remained stuck?   Creating solutions together is the key!   What makes sense to you may not make sense to your relationship.   If you embrace this idea everything will change – including your relationship.  Finding solutions that make sense to both of you will shift everything and create a more fulfilling relationship.    After all, isn’t that what it’s  all about?

Is nagging taking its toll on your relationship?  Get your free copy today of the “5 Critical Signs Your Relationship is on Life Support!”  The longer you wait to resolve your problems the worse things will become. 

About author

Dr. Jeff Kane
Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at RelationshipsUnscripted.com.

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