My Marriage is BORING!!!

Ask Dr. JeffCategory: Relationship AdviceMy Marriage is BORING!!!
By Dr. Jeff KaneBy Dr. Jeff Kane Staff asked 8 years ago

Laura & Robert

Married 11 years

I have been married for over a decade and I’m completely bored!  Nothing is new in our marriage.  We are both good parents but our “spark” is completely gone.  I looked at my husband the other day and asked him if he is still “attracted” to me.  His answer was, “Of course you are, you always look great.”  He just doesn’t get it.  I think that if I didn’t say a word he and I would just continue down this same path.  Our marriage is void of excitement.  Isn’t it important to have some fun once in a while?   Dr. Jeff, any help you can be would be so much appreciated!  Thank you, Laura  (U.K)

1 Answers
By Dr. Jeff KaneBy Dr. Jeff Kane Staff answered 8 years ago

Laura, thank you for sharing with your experience with us.  In marriage, you either grow together or grow apart.  It seems in your description you have entered the “friend zone” in your marriage.  Many couples begin to function like roommates after being together for a while.  Why does this happen?  It’s called “getting comfortable.”  The “spark” you are referring to begins to fade when you stop nourishing your relationship.  Rather than placing blame on one another, I see the issue as a “relationship problem.”  What are you both doing or not doing to keep your relationship exciting?  Surprises are great in adding a little “jolt” into your marriage.  Adding a new piece of sexy, seductive clothing to your wardrobe can also help.  Creating passion has lots to do with the environment you create.  Romantic evenings are important as well.  How about an evening of naked twister or a nice hot bubble bath together?  Sit down with your husband and create a “hotlist” together could go a long way to spicing up your relationship.  Remember, it’s not all up to you.  It took the two of you to get to where you are and it will take the both of you to begin to head down a new path!   Good luck and let me know how things turn out.  All the best, Dr. Jeff

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