Ready to Fix Your Relationship?

When you think about “fixing” your relationship what thoughts cross your mind? Pointing the finger to “who” is the “one” with the problem is often quite easy to do.   Do you have a clear idea of what your loved one needs to change?   Bet your loved one can tell you what you need to do differently as well.   These endless circles of conversation just lead down a dead-end road.  Let’s explore a few ways to being fixing your relationship so you can avoid the common pitfalls that will keep things stuck in neutral (or reverse).

Finger pointing

Yes, it’s never your fault, right? I know it’s not easy to always be right. (lol) Finger pointing will allow you to hear your own voice and ignore your loved one’s voice.   If you want to begin to “fix” your relationship the first step is gain a clear idea of how the other person is seeing his/her world.   How can you create change in your relationship if you only “buy” into your thoughts and ignore the voice of your loved one?

“Right vs. Wrong”

Arguing about who is “right” or wrong is usually a fruitless venture.   The result is that you remain stuck and nothing changes.   It’s like going on the treadmill for an hour and when you get off you are tired but in the same place.   The key is to begin to have conversations that create understanding. Are you making room for ideas freely and openly in your relationship?

Power struggle

How many “differences in opinion” wrestling matches have you had in your relationship? Have these attempts “fixed” your relationship or made things worse?   Feeling the need to be “in charge” inevitably results in a power struggle.   The goal is usually to manipulate the other person to behave how you see fit.   In the end, it’s a set-up for failure.   Is it more important to be “running” your relationship or finding ways to be on the same page?   Often, the greatest challenge is to look beyond where you are standing and focus on where you want to go.

The best way to “fix” your relationship is to first start with “fixing” yourself.   Are you ready to take the first step?

If you would like to learn more about how to ignite (or reignite) the love and passion in your relationship check out our FREE monthly webinars at

About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at

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