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Relationship Pitfalls | 4 Common Pitfalls Nobody Tells You About

What are the common relationship pitfalls that can lead your relationship down the “wrong” road? Have you ever thought you were on the “right” path and found things getting worse. Maybe you tried to do something nice or romantic but it was totally overlooked.  The result is you feel disillusioned and begin to loose faith that things could change.  Ladies, what does it feel like when he doesn’t even notice when you are being sexy?   Not so good!   Of course, one of the best ways to be sexy is to feel sexy.  What are you doing to feel sexy?   It’s not just what you wear.  Of course, a little sexy lingerie will help.  It’s how you talk, the way you walk, your facial expressions.   It all adds up over time.   Once you feel “it” you can be “it.”

Men, when was the last time you felt sexy?   That’s right!   Sexiness is not just reserved for women.   Just go watch the Lifetime Movie or Oxygen Channel and you will see what it looks like if you need some examples.   Ladies like a man who can be sexy.   Believe it or not… how you talk, how you smell and how you carry yourself will define where you fall on the “sexy scale” for your loved one.    Ask your loved on and she will tell you how you grade out!  Here are 4 common Relationship pitfalls that can keep your relationship stuck.

4 Common Relationship Pitfalls

Relationship Pitfalls #1: You are just way too comfortable.

Are you wearing the same old clothes for the past decade?   How about the hairstyle?   Maybe you are just too comfortable and feel it will not make a difference.  It will!   Wearing a new outfit can change the whole mood of an evening.   When you nourish yourself you and your relationship will benefit!

Sometimes, you may be comfortable in your relationship because you just think that you “got it!”  No need to learn how to fix your relationship or improve it?   Why try harder on a daily basis to keep your lover happy, right?   He/she just loves you and if you do “enough” everything will be fine. This scenario is one of the biggest relationship pitfalls!

  • Women enjoy when you keep things fun and show that extra effort. You may not think they notice but they do!
  • Men want to “notice” you so adding something new can make a big difference.  A surprise once in a while and keeping your body looking nice speaks loudly to your loved one.

Relationship Pitfalls #2:  Too serious and not enough laughing!

Laughing is a big turn on!  Isn’t it interesting how a few laughs can completely change the mood of a night?  Romantic comedies and comedy clubs are great.   Keeping it serious all the time is simply unhealthy.

  • Find some activities that make you both laugh and enjoy one each other’s company.
  • Laughing will keep you closer and your relationship stronger!

Relationship Pitfalls #3:  It’s just so boring.

Boredom is poison to any relationship.   Why does this happen?   You are simply familiar with one another and fall into normal behavior week after week. Same food, same conversation and same dates. Blah, blah, blah. Do you recognize this as one of the hidden relationship pitfalls?

  • How about mixing it up?  Go to a new place, learn a new dance, eat some new food, do something risky!
  • Create some change and have some fun doing it!
  • When was the last time you surprised your loved one?   Plan a night out without telling him/her what’s in store.
  • How about pulling out a blindfold?  It’s is a great way to add some mystery to a great date.
  • Take him/her to a place that is unfamiliar that offers something new.
  • Surprise your loved one at work and bring some lunch.
  • Find a sitter for the night and plan an evening of fun and relaxation.   There are always opportunities to fix your relationship and make things even better!

Relationship Pitfall #4:  Your NOT staying in the moment…

Enjoy your time with your loved one!   It’s often easy to worry about what’s next and simply overlook moments in time.    How often do you look in you loved one’s eyes?

  • Tuning in to what is being said can make all the difference.  You might even hear something new.


Did you ever experience your own relationship pitfalls? Please share them below as a comment so we all can learn together!


About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at

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1 Comment

  1. Dii December 6, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    Thanks so much for these articles. They are really educational and I wish to learn more.

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