couple playing with each other, presenting the topic sex in marriage

Sex In Marriage – Where Fantasy Meets Reality?

Can you have enough sex in marriage? Who said the world of fantasy is just for kids? If you ever went to Disney world you know that it’s a magical place and a break from reality.   How often do you experience the world of imagination in your marriage?  Unfortunately, for many couples it’s not very often.   So, why not bring the world of fantasy during sex in your marriage? You don’t have to be related Minnie and Mickey to explore a new world.

3 Ways to Unlease your Wild Side and have Better Sex in Marriage

Clue 1 to have Better Sex In Marriage: Share What Turns you on

How often do you share what gets you hot and turns you on in your relationship?

  • After being in a relationship for a while you may find yourself in your comfort zone.
  • You may resign yourself to believe that better sex in your marriage is just a fantasy.
  • The problem is that you are probably engaged in the same patterns of intimacy and sex.
  • You both know what to expect and just “plug –in” to the same mindset each time.

Come on!  This is so boring.   Does your partner really know what turns you on?   I’ve seen couples in relationship coaching sessions that have been together over a decade and still do know the deepest and hottest thoughts that are in their loved one’s thoughts.  It happens but the good news is that everything can change once you are willing to release thoughts.

Clue 2 to have Better Sex In Marriage: Share Wild or Unusual Thoughts

Being shy about your wild or unusual thoughts that enter your mind will keep you from exploring the world of fantasy.

  • Are you worried that your loved one will judge you?
  • If you are unable to be yourself in your relationship you will often find yourself imply playing a role.
  • Sharing wild and unusual thoughts will open the door to intimacy.
  • It will also keep your relationship so hot!   Leaving the boring patterns behind will create a little spice for your relationship.
  • In fact, you will find you will feel so much closer when you can open share your wild side.

So, why not give it a try?  Your experience of sex in your marriage will change in ways you never expected!

Clue 3 to have Better Sex In Marriage: Be adventurous

But I’m conservative so it just does not seem right to be so open.  Who told you that the story of how you know yourself must remain the same?   Believe it or not, “conservative” people do some of the most conservative things when they are in the privacy of their homes.  Come on, admit it, doesn’t it feel good to be a little naughty?

  • It’s okay to give yourself permission to explore other parts of who you are.
  • In the world of fantasy, you can leave the rules of reality behind.
  • It can release you in ways you never could have imagined.
  • Often, the only roadblock is you to having amazing sex in your marriage.

Once you allow yourself to explore a new part of you, your relationship will begin to change. The only one who will know about your “little” secret is your loved one!


About author

By Dr. Jeff Kane
By Dr. Jeff Kane

Dr. Jeff Kane is a Doctor in Marriage and Family Therapy and the founder of Relationships Unscripted. Over the past 20 years he has helped couples re-ignite their spark, passion and have great sex in their relationships. Learn more about the couples coaching programs, free webinars and Ask Dr. Jeff your burning relationship questions at

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